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Tips to make a relationship last after kids. 

8/18/2013

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Tips to work on your relationship after bringing a baby into this world!


-Who does the chores?
Make a list. Divide it 50/50 & switch off every week. If you need help moms make sure you ask. He is most likely willing to do more but is not picking up on your hints. You must ask men respond better to direct requests. (Plus you will spend less time nagging) Please & thank you's also go a long way!

-So he is a little more strict then you?
While it is okay for parents to take different roads of how they want to raise there child let each parent learn as a perfect parent is not just made over night. If dad wants to let baby nap & eat when ever let him deal with the baby every night so he realize that a schedule may not be a bad thing. If mom wants the house to stay completely clean. Let her see the baby play in one room and when she walks out the baby will have that area a mess. Maybe she will be a little more understanding and realize that’s not a reality. For more serious issues communication is key, there are always ways to compromise.

-Intercourse.. enough said
You need to have a sexual relationship! Your just not in the mood though, right? Well getting in the mood is the first step. Always plan time for sex. Yes that may sound joke worthy but even before baby you 'planned' for sex. You got ready, went out for dinner and always had special plans. Just because there is a baby involved now does not mean you can not do that. Hire a sitter, have grandma watch baby for a few hours. Go have some fun!

-Are your expectations realistic?
Ask other parents what the reality of parenting (1,2,3+) kids is. Spend enough time around children to know they will be the biggest, toughest 'job' of your life, but also understand that every family & child is different.

-Team work.
Remember you are on the same team. Help each other, thank each other, be proud of one another! It involves a lot of give and take but it is well worth it.  

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Birthing..

6/16/2013

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Brave enough to try any?

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Great positions. 

Standing Upright or walking
Standing upright is one of the great positions for birth if you're feeling strong and want to be on your feet. Being upright allows for the maximum amount of gravity to aid you and the baby in his descent through the birth canal. You may feel like swaying from side-to-side, or learning forward at the same time. Follow what your body is telling you.

Some women want to lean on their partners or a familiar piece of furniture. If you’re planning a home birth, think about which furniture is a comfortable height for you to lean on. Maybe a high-backed chair.

All-fours or Kneeling
MIDWIVE’S TIP: ask your birth attendant to place a rolled up hand towel under your feet and another behind your bent knees when using this position. The towels help your feet and legs to relax and be comfy if you’re in this position for a long time.


Side-Lying
Side-lying or lateral positions can be great too. Midwives often recommend left lateral as one of the best positions for birth. This is similar to the position pictured on the Sleep page. Right-side lying is not quite as good unless fetal monitoring indicates that your baby prefers this side.

This position for birth is good if you’re feeling tired and need to lie down. It allows your contractions to remain strong and powerful, yet doesn’t restrict the movement of the baby down the birth canal. Your pelvic bones are free to move and open as necessary, giving the maximum opening for birth. Either you or one of your care givers can support your right leg when you need to raise it. Just put your hand behind your bent knee. Let you pelvic muscles relax as much as possible.

Squatting or Semi-Sitting
Throughout history we find images of women squatting to give birth. Obviously squatting or semi-sitting allows your pelvis to be fully open. You’re also leaning forward slightly or being upright which aids gravity.

Some women want to lean on their partners or have their partner support them from behind, with their arms under the woman's armpits. When doing this the partner can be sitting on a low chair or stool and the mom on a pillow or on the floor, depending where she feels happy.

The problem with squatting can be that your legs get tired quickly if you’re not used to this position. In some cultures women squat daily in their normal routines and don’t have any problems as their leg muscles are extremely strong. If this isn’t you, then alternate squatting with other positions like standing.

Rope Holding
This is a mixture between standing and squatting. A few modern Birth Centres have these ropes attached to the ceiling. I have seen historical books with pictures of Native women holding on to ropes and alternating between squatting during contractions and standing up between contractions.

It has the advantage of both with something strong to hold onto, opening up your pelvis more and using gravity to aid birth. 





Not so great. 

Supine or Back-LyingThis was introduced by men and the medical profession as it is more convenient for doctors, obstetricians and other assistants to observe what is happening during a birth. It isn’t an instinctive birthing position. In fact it’s probably the worst way to try and give birth. In this position you are working against gravity and expecting your baby to go ‘uphill’ before he can get out! It’s so much harder for all concerned, except the observers.

If your caregiver is asking you to lie on your back please ask them what their reason is and tell them that you’d rather try a more upright position.


Lithotomy
Again this is not a recommended way to give birth. Lithotomy means having your feet or legs in stirrups, being flat on your back, with your buttocks at the edge of a delivery table. Often it means that you are in hospital, with an IV drip in, urinary catheter insitu, continuous fetal monitoring straps around your abdomen and unable to move.

Lithotomy is thought to be necessary when suction Ventouse delivery is required or when forceps are being used. It opens your hips to the widest capacity. It has a similar effect to squatting but instead of your back being upright, your back is on the bed. 

Just remember always follow your instincts and keep changing positions so that you’re relaxed and comfy and feel in control. Active birth means movement and movement helps your baby to move down and out.

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Periods during pregnancy legend or fact?

6/4/2013

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If you are pregnant, you have probably heard about other women who have their periods during pregnancy. This story seems to cycle throughout the generations and is almost an urban legend now. Everyone seems to know someone who has a friend who got their period during their pregnancy!


Many women can experience episodes of bleeding and spotting during pregnancy. Bleeding is especially common in the first trimester and about 30% of pregnant women experience bleeding during this time. Although fewer women bleed during the second and third trimesters, spotting is still possible and not all that uncommon. However, though this bleeding may resemble menstruation, it actually is something different altogether.


Why You Can’t Get Your Period During Pregnancy
Your period is caused by your menstrual cycle. During this cycle, your body releases hormones, which send signals to your reproductive organs to perform certain actions. An increase in your hormones causes your ovaries to release an egg that travels from your ovaries through your fallopian tubes. Meanwhile, a protective layer of blood and tissue thickens along the walls of your uterus. If this egg is not fertilized, your hormone levels will drop, signaling to your body that it is time to shed the lining that built up in your uterus. This is what causes your period.

During pregnancy, your body is completely focused on providing for your baby. Your brain sends signals to your ovaries to stop the menstrual cycle in order to give your baby the proper environment to grow. As a result, instead of dropping, your hormone levels will continue to rise for the next nine months. This helps your uterus prepare for the growth and nourishment of your baby.

If your body continued to have regular menstrual periods while you were pregnant, it would be shedding the uterine lining that helps nourish your baby every month. Biologically speaking, this wouldn’t make much sense. Therefore, the spotting or bleeding during pregnancy many women experience is caused by something other than their period.

Decidual Bleeding
One of the most common causes of period-like bleeding during pregnancy is called decidual bleeding. Sometimes, during pregnancy, your body’s hormones can get out of whack, causing you to lose parts of the lining of your uterus. This is especially common in the early stages of pregnancy, before the lining has completely attached to the placenta. While it can be troublesome to think about shedding part if your uterine lining, decidual bleeding is generally not thought to be a health threat to you or your baby.

There are a number of other reasons why bleeding during pregnancy may occur. Most of them present little health risk to you and your little one. However, bleeding can sometimes indicate a complication with your pregnancy. If you are pregnant, it is important to be aware of your bleeding. If you experience any abnormal bleeding at any point during your pregnancy, contact your health care provider immediately.
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What can make co-sleeping safer. 

5/20/2013

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  • Breastfeed. Mothers who nurse their children are intensely aware of their babies as they share sleep. Breastfed infants also instinctively align themselves with mother's breasts while sleeping, keeping themselves well away from mother's pillow.
  • Use as firm a sleeping surface as possible. It's not safe to co-sleep on a water-bed, feather-bed or other overly-soft sleeping surface.
  • Think big. A king size bed is best, so invest the money you would have spent on a crib to upgrade to a firm, king size bed. However, if you co-sleep safely, any bed size will be fine
  • Make sure your sheets are tight and lay flat on your bed. If your sheets are very loose, you can purchase elastic clip-on "sheet keepers" in the bedding department of most stores.
  • Remove any extra pillows, blankets, decorative throws, pillows and bolsters, and stuffed animals. Keep only what you absolutely need.
  • Stay close. The baby is safest between the mother and a bed rail or the wall. (Mothers usually know where the baby is even in their sleep, while partners and older children don't show the same keen awareness.)
  • Mind the gap. The bed should be flush against a guard-rail or the wall. Insert pillows or tightly-rolled blanket if there is a gap. Remember that a guard-rail that is designed to keep a toddler or preschooler from rolling out of bed may not be safe for an infant. (An infant is much smaller, so the guard-rail may pose an entrapment risk.)
  • Place the baby to sleep on their back. No matter where the baby sleeps, he should sleep lying on his back.
  • Lower your bed. When the baby is old enough to get out of the bed, it's safest to remove your bed frame and place your box spring and mattress on the floor, in case of falls. Teach your baby how to wiggle out of bed feet first, the same as they would go down stairs.
  • Soften the blow. If your room has hard floors, place soft throw-rugs beside the bed and at the end of the bed, to cushion accidental falls.
  • If you smoke, quit. Studies show that the risk of infant death due to SIDS is highest in infants who co-sleep with smokers. If you do smoke, it is NOT advised to co-sleep with your infant.



  • If you do not feel safe with the baby in your bed, purchase a co-sleeper such as the "Arm's Reach Bedside Co-sleeper" or the "Amby Bed," or put your baby's crib in your bedroom. Both mother and baby can still benefit from co-sleeping in this way. A crib pulled against your bed with one side lowered is NOT a safe option. This poses a risk of entrapment/strangulation.
  • Dress the baby in layers, such as long sleeves and a warm sleep sack, and place them on top of the bedding. Check your baby's temperature to avoid overheating your baby. Remember that mothers and infants share body heat while sleeping together, so comfortable dress for the mother will be comfortable for the baby as well
  • When traveling and in unfamiliar sleeping quarters, sleeping bags work very well to keep babies close. Use them unzipped on the floor, however, and make sure that they don't provide any more padding than what you would receive with a firm mattress. Otherwise the risk of suffocation becomes quite high.
  • A low budget way to keep your baby from getting trapped in the space between the bed and the wall is to wedge a body pillow into the space tightly so that it only sticks out a small amount and the exposed part is firm to the touch.
  • Be sure to child-proof your entire bedroom as soon as the baby starts crawling, so they can get out of bed and be safe while you're still resting. Close bedroom doors or use gates so your baby can't leave the room.
  • As the baby gets older, he/she may be able to sleep safely in the middle of the bed, providing your partner or older child can sense their presence and not roll over on them.
  • Do not swaddle your baby while co-sleeping. Your baby's arms must be free to move so that mother can better sense the baby next to her.
  • Do not allow other children to sleep next to the baby. Older children are unlikely to sense the baby's presence in the bed, and incidences of SIDS go up dramatically when older children share the bed with an infant.
  • Don't wear night-clothes that are too loose or have ties that could be unsafe for your baby. Ditto for your partner.
  • Research has shown that when tragedies occur, it is often the first time a particular "safe sleep" procedure wasn't used. This is particularly important for the Back to Sleep position: "Research has shown that babies who are used to sleeping on their backs but who are suddenly placed in bed on their sides or their tummies face a very high risk of SIDS. This risk factor jumps from the standard incidence rate of 0.56 deaths per 1000 live births to 6.9 per 1000 for the side-lying position and 8.2 for the tummy-lying position.
  • If your room isn't child-proofed, do not allow your baby out of bed unless you get up with them.
  • Do not co-sleep with your baby if you are a smoker. The risk of SIDS is three times higher than with non-smokers.
  • Do not co-sleep with your baby if you have an illness, such as sleep apnea, that prevents you from rousing easily.
  • Do not co-sleep with your baby if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol that impair your ability to sense the baby's presence beside you.
  • Do not co-sleep with your baby if you are so exhausted or ill that you're not able to sense the your baby's presence beside you.
  • Contrary to myth, obese mothers can co-sleep with their baby safely, provided they follow basic safety guidelines and have no health problem that prevents them from rousing easily from sleep.
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Lesson Twenty. Tips to work on a parent baby relationship.

2/19/2013

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Just like with any relationship, building a positive relationship between parent and child is one that requires work and effort to make it strong and successful. Parenting is a tough job, and maintaining close relationships and open communications helps to ensure parents and their children stay connected through all ages of their upbringing. Here are about ten tips for enhancing the bond between parent and child.

1.  Say 'I Love You' Tell your child you love him every day -- no matter his/her age. Even on trying days or after a parent-child disagreement, when you don't exactly "like your child" at that moment, it is more important than ever to express your love. A simple "I love you" goes a long way toward developing and then strengthening a relationship.

2.  Teach Your Faith -- Teach your child about your faith and beliefs. Tell him what you believe and why. Allow time for your child to ask questions and answer them honestly. Reinforce those teachings often.

3.  Establish A Special Name Or Code Word -- Create a special name for your child that is positive and special or a secret code word that you can use between each other. Use the name as a simple reinforcement of your love. The code word can be established to have special meaning between your child and you that only you two understand. This code word can even be used to extract a child from an uncomfortable situation (such as a sleepover that is not going well) without causing undue embarrassment to the child.

4.  Develop And Maintain A Special Bedtime Ritual -- For younger children, reading a favorite bedtime book or telling stories is a ritual that will be remembered most likely throughout their life. Older children should not be neglected either. Once children start reading, have them read a page, chapter, or short book to you. Even most teenagers still enjoy the ritual of being told goodnight in a special way by a parent--even if they don't act like it!

5.  Let Your Children Help You -- Parents sometimes inadvertently miss out on opportunities to forge closer relationships by not allowing their child to help them with various tasks and chores. Unloading groceries after going to the store is a good example of something that children of most ages can and should assist with. Choosing which shoes look better with your dress lets a child know you value her opinion. Of course, if you ask, be prepared to accept and live with the choice made!

6.  Play With Your Children -- Simple enough right? The key is to really play with your children. Play with dolls, ball, make believe, checkers, sing songs, or whatever is fun and interesting. It doesn't matter what you play, just enjoy each other! Let kids see your silly side. Older kids enjoy cards, chess, computer games, while younger ones will have fun playing about anything... as long as it involves you!

7.  Eat Meals As A Family -- You've heard this before, and it really is important! Eating together sets the stage for conversation and sharing. Turn the TV off, and don't rush through a meal. When schedules permit, really talk and enjoy one another. It can become a quality time most remembered by young and old alike.

8.  Seek Out One-On-One Opportunities Often -- Some parents have special nights or "standing dates" with their children to create that one-on-one opportunity. Whether it is a walk around the neighborhood, a special trip to a playground, or just a movie night with just the two of you, it is important to celebrate each child individually. Although it is more of a challenge the more children in a family, it is really achievable! Think creatively and the opportunities created will be ones that you remember in the future.

9.  Respect Their Choices -- You don't have to like their mismatched shirt and shorts or love how a child has placed pictures in his room. However, it is important to respect those choices. Children reach out for independence at a young age, and parents can help to foster those decision-making skills by being supportive and even looking the other way on occasion. After all, it really is okay if a child goes to daycare with a striped green shirt and pink shorts.

10.  Make Them A Priority In Your Life -- I think this is the biggest and mostYour children need to know that you believe they are a priority in your life. Children can observe excessive stress and notice when they feel you are not paying them attention. Sometimes, part of being a parent is not worrying about the small stuff and enjoying your children. They grow up so fast, and every day is special. Take advantage of your precious time together while you have it!
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Lesson nineteen. What is your bottles made from?

2/7/2013

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So what is your bottle made from? If you are formula feeding or breast-feeding you may need or want to use a bottle. Well what are your options?

Glass. [This is what I personally used with baby #2]
Disposable. [I used with baby #1]
Plastic.
Stainless steel. [Would like to try]

Those are the options that I know about. Let me know if you know of any others. Or have any opinions.. 

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Lesson Eightteen. So why can't you do it?

1/24/2013

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Brest-feeding why cant you?
Honestly there are only 2 reasons you “can't” Breast-feed.

Reason 1. And the most common.
-It is all in your head!
No really. A lot of the people replace hard work for. I can't do this. But in all reality you CAN!!! Yes it will take some work [and for some it may take a lot of work]. With a newborn I know it is hard. But stop using it as an excuse when you quit. Because you can do it. You just WONT take the extra steps to make it work.

Reason 2. I really can't A medical issue.
-Sometimes you will actually not produce any milk. But that is rare. And is only like 1% of women.
-On medications that are NECESSARY that could hurt your child threw breast milk.



[Not downing mothers that use bottles or formula. Look out for our bottle topics.. But in my eyes breast is best..]

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My fetus is withdrawing!!

1/14/2013

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Lesson Seventeen -- 1-14-13 My fetus is withdrawing!!.

Prenatal NAS is caused by discontinuation of drugs taken by the pregnant mother, while postnatal NAS is caused by discontinuation of drugs directly to the infant. [Nas- Neonatal abstinence Synonymy]

EFFECTS to a newborn- -Exposed to hepatitis, AIDS, tuberculosis, and other STDs-Placenta can show oxygen deprivation, have a small gestational age measurements, organs can be affected, hemorrhage, jaundice, neurobehacior, is more acceptable to SIDS

SIGNS and symptoms--Central nervous system hyper irritability, gastrointestinal dysfunction, respiratory distress, and autonomic nervous system symptoms that include yawning, sneezing, mottling, and fever-At birth, these infants develop tumorous movements, which progress in severity-High-pitched crying, increased muscle tone, irritability, and exaggerated infant reflexes are common-Sucking of fists or thumbs is common, yet when feedings are administered, the infants have extreme difficulty and regurgitate frequently because of an uncoordinated and ineffectual sucking reflex. The infants may develop loose stools and are therefore susceptible to dehydration and electrolyte imbalance-

TREATMENTS- -Treatment and medication primarily focus on opiate and cocaine withdrawal. Although understanding polydrug interactions is difficult, no specific treatment plan for amphetamine, marijuana, tobacco, or alcohol withdrawal is recognized.-All medically treated newborns should constantly be monitored for cardiovascular, respiratory, seizures, and oxygen saturation changes.-In newborns with severe symptoms, intravenous fluids with electrolytes may be needed. Oral feedings may need to be withheld.

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Wine!?! Your pregnant.

1/2/2013

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Lesson Sixteen -- 1-2-13 Wine!?! Your pregnant.

I have been told a handful of times that a glass of red wine a day is good for a fetus/baby's heart. So why are doctors so strong about not drinking at all while pregnant.. Here is what I found. What are your thoughts/experiences?

A new study says light or mod drinking will not upset the baby's intelligence, attention, or self control after he/she is born. They say up to 8 yes EIGHT drinks in a week are not going to harm baby..  Even binge episodes [5 or more drinks in one evening] in early pregnancy preformed just as well on mental tasks.. 

On the hole opposite side of the scale remember all the fetal alcohol syndromes. They are very real! It causes poor growth in womb and after birth, decreased muscle tone and poor coordination, thinking, speech, movement, and social skills may be delayed, heart defects, narrow small eyes, small head, small upper jaw, smooth groove in upper lip and thin upper lip. And also it can lead to premature delivery. a miscarriage, or a still birth. 

So what are you going to decide. I say alcohol free is the way to go if you are trying or know you are pregnant! The benefits of not drinking out weighs the risks. 

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Lesson Fifteen -- Pulse Oximetry

12/5/2012

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Lesson Fifteen -- 12.5.12

 Pulse Ox[imetry] or pulse oxymetry in the UK Screening. Do you even know what it is? Ever seen it done? Dis your child have it done? And Does it hurt?.

Pulse Ox is a method of the monitoring of the saturation of a patients hemoglobin. A sensor is placed on a thin part of the patient's body, usually a fingertip or earlobe, or in the case of an infant, across a foot. Then a blood-oxygen monitor displays the percentage of arterial hemoglobin in the oxyhemoglobin configuration. & it does NOT hurt!

Can detect CCHD or CHD early in life. [Critical Congenital Heart Disease or Congenital Heart Disease] But just because baby does not pass does not mean [s]he has a CHD. 

How to know if my baby Passed or failed. Ask your doctor! To pass the baby has to have no more then a 3% different in the pulse ox in hand and foot. To maximize the accuracy of the result it should be done in the 2ed day of life instead of only 12 hours after birth. 

1 in 10 babies are born with a CHD!! Congenital heart disease involves defects of the walls, valves, arteries or veins of the heart. 25% of the babies are critical!

1 in 6 babies that die from a CHD are un-diagnosis!

Are pulse ox screenings done regularly? NO! Does this need to change? YES! Please Pass this info on. & share your stories [and feel free to add any info I may have missed]

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    I put these together with my own knowledge. I am NOT a doctor or anything of the sort. Please look further into anything before you make a decision to change your life or your child's life.

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