I am officially severely depressed. I don't think it could get more severe. I am looking for help yet I feel like there is no where to go.
My life was amazing 2 years ago when I found out I was expecting my first child. 2 years and 3 pregnancies later my arms are empty. What could anyone ever do to deserve this? I have wanted to be a mommy since I was a child. Been craving to here someone call me mommy. It all seems so far out of my reach. I have now decided to get on top market birth control as the knock offs don't work for me. So if anyone could suggest a "high dose" one that would be great. Maybe in a few years I will try again but no time soon.
We are looking to start a non profit that will help children in need and I am also looking into sinlg
There will be a list of explained [or dictionary terms] at the very very bottom. You must click the read more to see the list. If you have any further questions feel free to ask.
Well We were told about 7 weeks ago that we were expecting. And about 2 weeks ago we were told that baby was just a blighted ovum and that there was no chance that we would continue with the pregnancy and have a baby. We were immediately offered a D&C and denied it right away. We were told that if the clots were bigger then a golf ball or if I filled more then one pad an hour to go straight the the ER. And they didn't want to see us again until after the process was done. So we took the info and googled everything we could fine and also asked the people on our facebook. [Facebook.com/TeamPeluso]. And gathered all the information I possible could about a blighted ovum and about miscarriages. But nothing prepared me for what was about to happen to my own body!
November 30th I went to the hospital because I was spotting brown. It started out red. I used the bathroom wiped twice and it was bright red. then it was brown every other time. Still hopeful we went to the hospital so that if the baby was there we could see if we could do something. Well I got there [St.Joes] and they basically took me back right away. And in no time [they were rushing me] They took a urine sample. Then did an external exam. Took two swabs and said he cold see a ton of clots. Then transport was waiting on that to be done to take me to get an ultrasound. They could still see no baby. and they found more then 5 cysts. Went back to my room and they took a vial of blood. and about a half hour later they came in and confirmed the miscarriage. So I asked what I could take for pain. They returned to me with a script for norco. And sent me on my way with the " One pad an hour clots no bigger than a golf ball" speech.
Well On December 1st at about 9p I started to bleed very heavy. Like I sat on the toilet and didn't move for a little over an hour. I covered my floor and the out side of my toilet with blood and also has to flush because I was afraid it all wouldn't go down because it was all coming so strong and fast. Well around 10p I woke Johnny up and he rushed me to St.Joes about 7 minutes away from home. The parking lot was full. We walked in knowing that I wouldn't be seen right way that I would get placed some where and have to wait on a doctor. Well I slowly got out of my car and walked up to a wheel chair and sat down. Johnny sign me in we waited at LEAST 10 minutes for even the receptionist to come out to a crying bloody pregnant couple and tell us it would be about an hour to be seen by triage another 30 minutes for a room and then about an hour for doctor to make rounds to me. So we went back out to the car. I had underwear shorts, and pants on now all saturated in blood and We desperately went to Trumbull hospital. Signed in waited 5 minutes went to triage and got a room. A room with no bath room. It was probably about 10.30 by the time I was in my room. They gave me mesh underwear to change into with a maternity pad and a belly pad [the ones they cover c-sections with] And showed me a bathroom where I could change. Well I indeed changed. and covered there toilet inside and out and there entire 4x4 foot room floor in blood. Went back to my room. Had my bed covered in blood in about 15 minutes. and continued to bleed that heavy for quite some time.
We sat at the hospital foe about 3.5 hours. With not even a nurses concern. If I needed to use the bathroom I had to walk to the service desk as no one even answered call buttons. After sitting there so long I figured If they didn't think I was going to bleed to death that I should just go home and be able to comfortably sit in my own home [and shower too]. Well we ended up walking out of the hospital as I felt there was no point of sitting there & the pain spaced it self back out and the bleeding slightly slowed. They were not even allowed to give me tylenol or anything! So I went home. laid down. I didn't feel strong enough to stand to take a shower. I was EXTREMELY week. And was able to get a few hours of sleep. I woke Johnny up to see if he wanted to go to work on just a couple hours of sleep and he said yes. & left. I was home for 13 ish hours alone. I was quite scared as I want sure what to expect next.
Well the next 3 days I bled decently bad at first it was a pad every 2-3 hours, then i could have probably gone 4-6 as i didn't have to force my self awake to go then the next day i was barely spotting. So my experience after the first major bleed it was fast. And not very painful.
I would LOVE to answer any more questions.